Creative Parking

You're probably familiar with those Smart Cars. They are very small. They are so small that the driver of one of them parked perpendicular to the curb in a parallel parking space. The back of his car didn't come past the sides of the other cars. He got a ticket, though. I wonder if he contested it. After all, he wasn't taking up more than his allotted space.
Washington D.C. is adding streetcar lines, which should be in use by early 2012. I once lived in a city with a street car, and it was really, really handy. In D.C. I use the Metro. The problem with the Metro, though, is finding a parking place at the station. Right now, I take the bus to the station and then transfer.
There is a bus stop right around the corner. I love mass transit, but I still drive my car more than I should.

What Happened to the Society Page?

Does the society page still exist?
You know what I mean. I'm talking about those pages in the newspapers featuring the town's socialites (rich people). Like this:
On May 15, a coming out party was held for Miss Royal Blaine Bankhead, a local debutante. The party was given by her parents. In attendance were 100 guests. The Bankhead's lovely home was festooned with white lilies, and Miss Bankhead graciously received guests in a white chiffon frock trimmed with Chantilly lace. It is rumored among those in the know that an engagement party may be in order for Miss Blythe Blaine Bankhead, the older sister of the honoree.
Tables were draped in white linen, and a centerpiece of lilies and orchids adorned each table. Guests danced to the music of Johnny Juke's Orchestra. The buffet featured a champagne fountain and tea sandwiches.
I always wondered what it would be like to be important enough to be named on the society page. Did I envy those people? I have to admit I did. But the society page, as far as I can tell, is no more.

George Washington: "Openly Abused"

Dear Mr. President:

You are roundly abused in the media, but you are in august company. In Janet Whitley's biography of Abigail Adams (Little, Brown and Co., 1947) she quotes Abigail as saying, "'Since the last election the President has been openly abused in the National Gazette...abused for his levees as an ape of royalty; Mrs. Washington abused for her drawing-rooms; their celebration of birthdays sneered at; himself insulted because he has not come forward and exerted his influence in favor of the army. They even tell him that a greater misfortune cannot befall a people than for their President to have no competitor; that it infuses into him a supercilious spirit, renders him self-important, and creates an idea that one man only is competent to govern. They compare him to a hyena and a crocodile; charge him with duplicity and deception.'" (pg. 254)

We Americans elect people and then despise them. Being in political office requires a very thick skin.

Hang in there.

Congratulations! You're a Corporal!

Although Veterans' Day honors all veterans, we forget the eleventh day of the eleventh month originally honored the end of what was optimistically called "The War to End All Wars." No one could imagine the human race being so insane as to fight each other after that war of airplanes, gas, and biological warfare. Fighting again would surely destroy the world.

My great-uncle was in that war. He was a country boy, and that was a good things. First, the soldiers were drilling with sticks: there weren't enough guns. My Uncle Roy had hunted his whole life, so he had an obvious advantage over the poor city boys who were shipped to France, handed a gun, and sent into combat.

An officer asked, "Can anybody here drive?" and my Uncle Roy raised his hand. "Congratulations. You're a corporal!" he said.

To all veterans: thank you.

Voting by Louse

The lice selected the mayor in Hurdenburg, Sweden, in the Middle Ages. "The persons eligible sat around a table, with their heads bowed forward, their beards resting on the table. A louse was then put in the middle of the table. The one into whose beard the louse first adventured was mayor for the ensuing year." I read this passage in Rats, Lice, and History, by Hans Zinsser (pg. 184). Obviously this method left women out of the running, so maybe we could modify it to allow female "persons eligible" to put their hair on the table, so it would have to be at least as long as Sarah Palin's.
Just think: partisanship would be rendered obsolete.